What Happens in a Child’s First Play Therapy Session?
If you're considering play therapy for your child, you might be wondering what actually happens when they walk into the therapy room for the first time.
Will they be expected to talk?
Will the therapist ask lots of questions?
What if they don't want to play?
And what happens if they simply don't know what to do?
These are understandable questions, particularly if play therapy is something you've never encountered before.
The first thing to know is that there isn't one particular way a child is expected to behave in their first play therapy session.
Every child is different, and part of the play therapy process is giving them the time and space to begin in their own way.
Before your child's first session
Before play therapy begins, I will usually speak with the child's parent or carer.
This gives us an opportunity to talk about your child, what you've been noticing, any experiences or changes that may be important, and what has led you to consider therapeutic support.
It also gives you an opportunity to ask questions and understand more about how I work.
This initial conversation happens without your child present so that they don't have to listen to adults discussing concerns about them.
From there, we can consider whether play therapy is an appropriate form of support for your child and what the next steps might look like.
Arriving for the first play therapy session
For some children, meeting a new adult and entering an unfamiliar space can feel exciting.
For others, it may feel uncertain or a little daunting.
Both are okay.
When I first meet a child, my priority isn't to get them to immediately tell me why they're there.
It's to begin creating a space in which they can gradually feel safe, accepted and comfortable being themselves.
I'll introduce the therapy space and explain some simple boundaries so that the child begins to understand what the space is for and what they can expect.
The first session is also the beginning of something particularly important in play therapy: the therapeutic relationship.
Trust doesn't have to happen immediately. It can develop gradually as the child experiences consistency, acceptance and a space where they aren't under pressure to perform or provide answers.
What is in the play therapy space?
A play therapy space contains a range of play and creative resources that give children different ways to express and explore.
These might include:
art and drawing materials
sand and miniature figures
clay
puppets
imaginative and role-play resources
musical instruments
sensory materials
storytelling resources
movement and creative activities
A child doesn't have to use everything.
They might be immediately drawn towards a particular resource, spend time looking around, move between several activities or choose something completely different from what an adult might expect.
There isn't a “right” activity to choose.
Does my child have to talk?
No.
This is one of the important differences between play therapy and the idea many of us have of traditional talking therapy.
Children aren't expected to sit opposite me and explain what is troubling them.
Some children will talk a lot.
Others may say very little.
A child might communicate through drawing, characters, stories, movement, sand, imaginative play or simply through the choices they make within the space.
Play gives children another way to communicate when words are difficult, unavailable or simply not what they need at that moment.
Find out more about Play Therapy →
What if my child doesn't want to play?
That's okay too.
Despite the name, play therapy isn't about making a child play.
A child might spend part of their first session observing the room, talking, exploring resources or deciding what they feel comfortable doing.
They may approach the therapy space cautiously at first.
That doesn't mean the session has “gone wrong”.
Beginning to understand the space, the therapist and the boundaries of the relationship is itself part of the process.
Children are given time to engage at their own pace.
Will you ask my child what is wrong?
I don't expect children to arrive and explain what is happening for them.
A child may not know.
They may not have the words.
They may not be ready to share something directly.
Or they may simply experience things very differently from the adults around them.
My role is not to pressure a child into talking or disclosing.
Instead, I provide a therapeutic environment where they have opportunities to express and explore in ways that feel manageable for them.
Over time, themes and experiences may emerge through play and creative expression, but this happens at the child's pace.
What about confidentiality?
Privacy is an important part of building a trusting therapeutic relationship.
Children need to know that their play therapy session is a space where they can express themselves without everything they say or do automatically being reported back to adults.
This means I won't give parents a detailed account of everything their child has played, created or said during a session.
However, confidentiality does have limits, particularly where there are concerns about a child's safety or the safety of someone else. These boundaries are explained as part of the therapeutic process.
I can also work collaboratively with parents and carers while protecting the child's therapeutic space, sharing appropriate information about the therapeutic process, general themes and progress where appropriate.
Should I ask my child what happened afterwards?
It's completely natural to be curious about what your child has done in their session.
But they may not want — or be able — to explain it.
Rather than asking lots of questions such as “What did you talk about?” or “What did you play with?”, it can be helpful to give your child the choice about whether they want to share.
You might simply let them know that you're there if they do want to talk about their experience.
Some children will happily tell you all about what they did.
Others will keep their therapy experience private.
Both can be okay.
What happens after the first session?
Play therapy is a process rather than something that can usually be understood from a single session.
For this reason, sessions are normally held consistently, usually at the same time and place each week.
That predictability can help children become familiar with the therapeutic space and gradually develop their relationship with the therapist.
Some children settle very quickly.
Others need several sessions before they begin to feel comfortable enough to explore more deeply.
There is no expectation that something significant has to happen in the first session.
Sometimes the most important thing happening is simply:
“I'm beginning to understand that this is a safe space for me.”
What is my role as a parent or carer?
You remain an important part of the process.
Supporting your child to attend consistently, allowing them some privacy around their sessions and communicating relevant changes or concerns can all support the therapeutic work.
There will also be opportunities to review how things are progressing while maintaining appropriate confidentiality around your child's individual sessions.
You don't need to become your child's therapist at home.
You can continue being their parent or carer — providing the familiar relationship, care and support that only you can provide.
Preparing your child for their first session
You don't need to give your child a complicated explanation about play therapy.
Keeping things simple and honest is often enough.
You might explain that they are going to meet Amy, who has a special space with toys and creative materials where children can play, create or talk if they want to.
Try to avoid telling them what they need to talk about or asking them to behave in a particular way during the session.
They don't need to perform.
The space is there for them.
Play Therapy in Norwich & Norfolk
I'm Amy, a Certified Play Therapist and founder of Little Buds Creative Therapies.
I provide child-centred play therapy for children and young people in Norwich and across Norfolk.
If you're considering play therapy for your child and would like to understand more about what the process involves, you're welcome to get in touch.
We can have an initial conversation about your child, what you've been noticing and whether play therapy may be an appropriate form of support.
